Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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