the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
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can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
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Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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