he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
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