i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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