Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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