I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize