I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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