I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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