what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
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I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
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I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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