It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
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You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
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It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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