dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
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I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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