Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize