hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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