at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Who died my cat blue again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize