whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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