dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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