I hate your face
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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