I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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