She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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