i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
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She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
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Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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