she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize