Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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