I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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