I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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