My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize