please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
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