I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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