Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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