so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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