remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
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I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
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I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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