when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize