it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize