so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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