I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize