So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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