So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
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All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
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The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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