scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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