If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
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We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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