Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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