I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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