Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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