my sisters under your porch take her home
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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