Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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