I can tuck mytits in my pants
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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