Just cropdusted the office
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize