dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
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He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
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Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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