when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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