Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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