perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize