Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize