My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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